They say that smell,taste the cool of winter or the heat of summer can spark old memories,for me it’s the cold weather….this morning black trash bags came to memory.December 15th,2009 I went home at about 5pm to tell my wife that Shelby was gone,Pam looked at me and said where did he go? That was the last time I laughed for about the next few weeks to follow…I told her no,Shelby was….dead.I can’t tell ya why your brain goes into-I don’t know what I’m doing mode,but it does.At that moment I knew we had to go back home to Louisville and my Moms house,Pam quickly jumped into the shower and I began to get things ready to leave cloths,medicine,dog treats & food along with toiletries and at that moment it came to my mind I needed two large black trash bags…so I went and picked up two from our next door neighbor.Back at the house I began packing everything I thought we needed into those trash bags…….why?
We had plenty of bags to pack with,we had been racing for years and the bags pretty much stayed packed ready to leave at anytime,Pam didn’t even question my packing method.Our mind does strange things in time of crisis and mine chose to pack all our things into black trash bags for a 3-4 day stay in Louisville to bury our oldest son Shelby.Why am I sharing this with you? Because death leaves us stranded and overwhelmed our thought process isn’t even normal,but death by Suicide leaves you empty,puts your mind into over drive asking why,what did I do,I didn’t do enough,Na this ain’t real,this is just a dream,I couldn’t even cry for days,but have been crying now for years.Suicide is preventable and our hope at Shelby’s Way is that thru education,awareness making yourself available to those struggling with depression or mental health issues,compassion and love that suicide can come to its end….God is love and as a Christian when we receive the Holy Spirit into our hearts at Baptismal,we begin a life living as Christ did…so the number one thing is Love.
If you haven’t received Christ into your life,don’t wait it’s amazing what he can do with you and your talents.
This website,Shelby’s Way and Shelby’s Speed & Kustom is dedicated to all those who have passed by Suicide and the Families left behind.
Please take the time,get involved,make yourself available,be consistent and most of all LOVE!